this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
