Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize