Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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