I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
