Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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