I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I have fence marks all over my body
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
