I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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