You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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