yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
