At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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