My brain says no but my pants say off.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
