I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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