At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
