Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
