I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
