One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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