I feel like I'm in dance class right now
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
id be glad to
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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