You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
