im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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