I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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