office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
