sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I met the friendliest cop last night
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
