i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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