He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
