people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
