Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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