Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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