Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I can't turn off my feet"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
