I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
