We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
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She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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