I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
