I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
