the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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