Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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