No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize