you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
