Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i was born a porn star she said
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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