theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
