I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
