Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
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