He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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