she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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