Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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