dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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