Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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