Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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