you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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