It's Friday. Sex?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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