Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
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Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
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I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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