we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
