I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
