Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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