If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
