I want to stick my p in your. b.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
