ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
