I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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