Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
