My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
