don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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