It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
