ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
