Plan B is the new Plan A
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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