he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
