just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
