so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
