I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
